CFN Archives - 2003 All-Name Team
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The 2005 Class
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Re-Ranking the 2004 Recruiting Classes
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Re-Ranking the 2003 Recruiting Classes
- Booms & Busts
... the 2003 Class
- Booms & Busts
... the 2002 Class
- The Blue Chippers
... the 2001 Class
Isaiah Thomas, DL North Carolina
1) If North Carolina plays UNLV, will Thomas and Rebel WR Earvin
Johnson exchange kisses at midfield before the game? 2) Would go on
to destroy a once-proud Knicks franchise. 3) Has
already been suspended for three games for teaching thuggish
tactics to fellow Tar Heel recruits.
Monroe Weekley, DE Kansas
The short-lived publication devoted to fans of Jim J Bullock
during the Too Close For Comfort years.
Decody Fagg, WR Florida State
This falls under the no comment is possible department, but
it beats out former FSU all-timer a few years ago, Craphonso Thorpe.
Marshal Ausberry, OL Virginia and Tremayne Standberry, TE
The obscure 30th and 31st flavors that no
one ever asks for a taste of.
DeJuan Tribble, DB Boston College
I almost did this once on a six-hour bus ride after
slamming a Super Big
Marvin McCall OL, Jameel McClain CB, Larry McClain
CB and Reggie McCoy, DB Syracuse
Now all the Orangemen need to get back to prominence is Dick
MacPherson, Don McPherson
and Donovan McNabb.
Charlston Gray, OL North Carolina
For whatever reason, this is the crayon that's always missing.
Andy Good, K West Virginia
He wouldn't have been recruited if his name was Andy Wide
Guerlin Dervil, LB and Kalani Heppe, OL and Jamesly
Jean, TE NC State
No lame comments here. NC State gets an award for
recruiting the coolest names.
Kenni Burns, RB Indiana
His baseball documentary was outstanding, but the jazz epic got
a little dry.
Charles Emerson, DL Indiana
His MASH savvy teammates have to immediately start calling him
Luke Stone SS, Jake Powers LB and Blake Powers, QB
Like the Simpsons episode when Homer changes his name to Max
Power, with a name like these, you don't snuggle them, you strap
yourself on and feel the cheese.
Ben Wyss, OL Indiana
The disastrously weak ad slogan for the Wisconsin board of tourism brought to
you by the Got Milk people.
Ernest Wheelright IV, WR Minnesota
If you're going to attach Roman numerals to your name, you
simply can't call yourself Ernie or Big Ern.
Tony Gonzalez, DB/WR Ohio State
Great. Now the national champs have a Pro Bowl tight end.
Steve Allen, LB Iowa State
Mildly witty, but he has to replace his bad hair piece. A
master at roasts.
Dominique Flower, DB Iowa State
If the football thing doesn't work out, with this name there's
always a chance at a career as a 35-year-old, mother of three,
stripper from Reno.
Matt Scherbring DL, Tom Schmeling OL, Bastian
Schober OL and Taylor Schrage, LB Iowa State
Head coach Dan McCarney just hopes these guys don't schtink.
Tang Bacheyie, DB Kansas
The scouting report. Positives: Decent size, nice speed.
Negatives: Bland and dissolves easily in water.
Antonio Gaines, RB
He has no other choice but to be a running back.
Ta Ta Thompson, LB Texas A&M
Ta Ta Thompson had better be able to ta ta tackle.
Sean Young, WR California
Watch out as he drops the
big pass in the Rose Bowl, turns into a woman, steals the Dolphins
mascot, kidnaps Dan Marino and then gets his plot foiled by some
second rate pet detective with weird hair.
Yomi Ojo, OL NC State
Can we ever forgive him for breaking up the Beatles?
Ropati Pitoitua, DL Washington State
With this last name, you'd think his parents would've given
him a break and simply named him Bob.
Chijioke Onyenegecha, CB Arizona State
Get used to learning how to figure this one out cause he might be the
best defensive back in America next year. I still bet that more
people spell this right than Fiutak.
DeLay, DE SMU
If you can't get chicks with this name, you're simply not
Ashton Youboty, CB Ohio State
rock Youboty, rock Youboty, c'mon, get down with it gonna make ya
Chris Henry, RB Arizona
to the tune of the Subway ad
name is Henry, Chris Henry. He's a Wildcat picked by Mackovic for 'Zona.
Bujnoch, OL Cincinnati
This is what Al Bundy does in the opening of Married ... With
Love, DL Houston
Moonlights as a late night R&B radio station DJ.
McMray III, CB Louisville
Better without the egg. The meal works with a side of hash browns and a
small orange juice.
Tasmin Knockum, RB Memphis
Don't rip on him until you've tried him
Tevaseu, LB TCU
An overrated Italian dessert
Route, CB Tulane
The highway that leads out of Tel Aviv.
Showers, QB Akron
We all hope so.
Atuatasi, DT Buffalo
A popular dance in the 1960s.
Flowers, RB Central Michigan
A type of foliage that has the fragrance of a vomit smelling cheese.
Cooper, QB Kent State
Has a heck of a baseline spin move.
Javariour Lucy, DB Troy State
The Telemundo version of the classic Lucille Ball
Kissee, OL Kent State
Make sure you do this on Valentine's Day.
Matt Ah You, LB BYU
and Quin Ah You, DL Hawaii
Excellent with a side of brown rice and a duck sauce.
Bilave-Benibo, RB Rice
The first line of the Brazilian hockey team that was whacked
15-0 in the first round of the 2002 Olympics.
Hercules Satele OL, Tu Tui DB, Xavier Hoolulu OL
and Villami Nauahi S, Hawaii
Hawaii recruiting classes always deserve to be in an All-Name Hall of
Blair III QB, Harry Bradley III LB, and Louis Thomas III DB
UL Monroe might be hoping to get III wins.
City, DB UTEP
The suburbs are thyme, cumin and oregano.