CFN Archives - 2004 All-Name Team
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The Unheralded Stars ...
The 2005 Class
- Recruiting Busts ... the
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Re-Ranking the 2004 Recruiting Classes
- Late Bloomers ... the
Re-Ranking the 2003 Recruiting Classes
- Booms & Busts
... the 2003 Class
- Booms & Busts
... the 2002 Class
- The Blue Chippers
... the 2001 Class
Scott Haverkamp, OL Kansas
His grandparents are longtime members of Bushwood Country
Club. Scott has a bad
habit of telling the quarterback, "that's a peach hon,"
after every completed pass.
Justice, DB Maryland
the stutterer with the faulty hot tub got against a local pool and
spa distributor on Tuesday's Judge Judy.
Sam Swank, PK Wake Forest
porn star name when I finally succumb to the will of my public and get back in the game. Unfortunately,
my career will be cut short ...
Twanell Spread, QB Baylor
because I'm not limber enough to do this move anymore. Even so, I'll
try and fool the porn producers by auditioning for parts with
Roderick Johnson, LB Oklahoma State
my other porn name. I'll say I had totally unaware parents who named
my brothers Peter and Richard. When that fails, desperately trying
to stay in the business, I'll have to ...
Dan Gay, DL Baylor
... explore the final frontier by reinventing my career.
Lame line No. 2 - Brother Ben was a running back for Baylor in the mid-80s. He
took a few carries to warm up and always smelled bad.
Lame line No. 3 - The politically correct
alternative to Florida State recruit, Decody Fagg.
Lame line No. 4 - President Bush, in an attempt to deflect
attention away from the embarrassment of the Iraq war intelligence
gaffe and slumping support, tried to get his groove back by
declaring the Bear
recruit an affront to wholesome family values. Massachusetts is
willing to let the defensive lineman play for the Minutemen.
Young, WR Duke
He was going to play for Texas Tech, but got scared off after
Bobby Knight yelled at him in a grocery store.
Tearrius George, DL Kansas State
Wildcat head coach Bill Snyder is also going after Tearrius's
brother Curious, but he was too worried about the potential for
John Hafferty, OL Kansas State
Hafferty and his Beaver Brown Band rode the wave of Bruce
Springsteen popularity in the 80s highlighted by the soundtrack for Eddie and
Guy Hurt, LB Kent State
You can't be a football player with this name.
You might as well be named Linebacker Questionable.
Nathan Swift, WR Nebraska & Fred Strong, WR Oklahoma
The two former Big 8 powerhouse programs are going in
different directions with their receiving corps.
Robert Reid, QB Oklahoma State
A Shakespearean trained actor, he'll forever be known for
playing the father of America's all-time favorite TV family.
Philip Morris, WR Clemson
He's still known for being a cancer despite efforts to reshape the
company and corporate image.
Yami Babolola, OL Texas A&M
1) What you say when you put the right toppings on the store bought
crust. 2) "Well I'm not the world's most masculine man, but I
know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man, and so is Babolola"
Brett Bischofberger, DL Texas Tech
The newest California fad in fast food dining and the healthy
alternative chain to the Roethlisberger in Oxford, OH.
Marquis Johnson, WR Texas Tech
The longtime Milwaukee Buck great is giving football a shot
after never got his movie career off
the ground even after his performance in White Men Can't Jump.
L.A. Reed, WR Texas Tech
Dominated the R&B charts for over a decade when he combined
forces with Babyface.
Octavious Balkcom, LB Auburn
Several people lost their shirts in the late 1990s by holding on to this tech
stock too long.
Kevin Atkins, RB Boston College
He lost a ton of weight in a hurry eating 14 chickens a day, but
the loose skin was disgusting. He
gained it all back after eating a banana.
Shurkee Barfield, DL Rutgers
August 18, 1998, I did this several times after getting food
poisoning by eating a bad batch of ...
Rice Moss, WR Syracuse
... this discontinued Boston Market side item.
Mortty Ivy, DB West Virginia
Some calamine lotion clears this up.
Merci Falaise, OL NC State
French for "thank you for eating my shorts."
George Bell, RB Virginia Tech
White Sox and Hokie fans will never accept him after for being
traded for the pre-steroid Sammy Sosa. However, he does have a terrific
Kisan Flakes, QB Illinois
A crisp passer, he gets soggy when it rains.
Leslie Majors, DB Indiana
We can rebuild it. We have the technology. Through this recruit,
we can make the Hoosiers bigger, stronger, faster.
Chauncey Incarnato, OL Notre Dame
If his middle name was Re, the Irish wouldn't believe in him.
Keston Cheathem, DB Michigan
His dad is the number two man in a law firm with partners Dewey
Akeem Hunter, RB Northwestern
The obnoxious guy on the Discovery Channel with an annoying
voice who isn't afraid to get up close to Houston centers.
Desmond Tardy, WR Purdue
Boilermaker head coach Joe Tiller will have to work hard to make sure this
recruit gets to class.
Dane King, QB Baylor
not much of a prospect, but he's better than French Queen.
Brendan Pahulu, LB Houston
The Cougars might have won the Hawaii Bowl if they didn't spend
so much time before the game doing this.
Cedrick Maxwell, LB Kent State
Someone needs to be fired if his nickname isn't Cornbread five minutes into the first
Londen Fryar, WR Western Michigan
You can get one of these on a stick from a street vendor just
outside of Big Ben along with a bag of candied peanuts for about two
Michael Myers, RB Colorado State
His Austin Powers movies were the stuff of legend until his
third one turned into a desperate cry for a hug from his dad. Now
he's reduced to making horrible Dr. Suess movies.
Michael Speed, DL Oregon
Mike Belotti told his recruiters to get more speed and was
Jordan White-Frisbee, DL Washington
All the Huskies need is Shaquille Green-Slinky and they'll have
the nucleus of a defensive line.
Cameron Mayo, OL Tennessee and Jerod Mayo, LB Tennessee
1) If Jerod starts to blitz well, opponents will have to hold
the Mayo ... sorry. 2) Cameron, at 260 pounds, is the
full-cholesterol version. At 215 pounds, Jerod is lite-Mayo. ... I'm
really, really sorry.
Fred Brown, DB Arkansas State
His nickname had better be Downtown, but that might not be a
good thing for a defensive back.
Rolly Lambala, RB Idaho
The forbidden dance.
Amara Koroma, DE Ball State
The B-side to the most annoying song of all-time, The Lion King's
Evan Ruud, DL Idaho
Excellent acceleration and good horsepower, but he quickly runs
out of gas.
Mention All-Recruiting Names
Sir Darean Adams, WR Michigan State
Austin Addington-Strapp, LB Ohio
Nader Abdallah, DL Ohio State
Afa Anoai, DL Connecticut
Nyere Aumaitre, OL Iowa
Mozell Axson, LB Houston
Leyon Azubuike, DL Temple
Keaunea Bankhead, DB Washington
Gonzalo Barinaga, LB Ball State
Jariette Buie, DL South Florida
Jovens Degage, RB Ball State
Bretn Deladurantey, OL Utah State
Nollis Dewar, WR Connecticut
Hugh D'Imperio, LB Michigan State
Leger Douzable, DL UCF
Pannel Egboh, TE Stanford
Javier Estopinan, LB Florida
Angelo Fobbs-Valentino, DB Arizona State
Mesphin Forrester, DB Washington
Greyson Gunheim, DL Washington
Renovell Hill, DB Tulane
Immanuel Hutcherson, OL Connecticut
Ben Iannocchione, OL West Virginia
Inquoris Johnson, DB Tennessee
Tony Fiammetta, RB Syracuse
Prishod Koonce, DL Kent State
TiQuintin Modell, LB Memphis
Brouce Mompremier, LB South Florida
Turmarian Moreland, DB Hawaii
Emeka Okammor, DL UCF
Emeka Okosa, OL Troy State
Wopamo Osasai, DB Stanford
Everette Pedescleaux, DL Minnesota
Domata Peko, DL Michigan State
Thor Pili, DL Oregon
Chilo Rachal, OL USC
Cleannord Saintil, WR MTSU
Jerrickus Speights, DL UAB
Purnell Sturdivant, DB Virginia Tech
Octavious Sumbry, DB Troy State
Adeboye Tuyo, RB Tulane
Siosifa Vave, OL New Mexico
Mike Vlahogeorge, QB Indiana
Jeremy Zollarcoffer, DL New Mexico State