Declaration of Independents
Happy 4th of July
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On this day, July 4th, 2013, I shall now read the college football fan's Declaration of Independents – and the Mountain West, MAC, Sun Belt and Conference USA - from the oppressive rule of the BCS.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all teams are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator – or Bill Hancock - with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of playing in the 2014 BCS championship.
That to secure these rights college football programs are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed – or, actually, the college presidents that don't want to lose their jobs - that whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government – or, at the very least, an expanded playoff system with more than four teams that allows everyone to have a shot at playing for the national title next season and beyond.
But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under the absolute despotism of the BCS, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government and allow in Boise State, or Northern Illinois, or even a champion of a BCS conference over a team that couldn't even win its own division.
Such has been the patient sufferance of the Mountain West, the MAC and the – moment of silence - WAC. And woe to the BCS conference team that starts the season ranked outside of the top five. If Alabama and Ohio State begin the year ranked 1 and 2, respectively, and they win all their games, is it just that a 13-0 Oregon or an unbeaten Oklahoma not have any realistic shot of playing in the BCS championship?
The history of the BCS is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these college football programs. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.
The BCS refused to allow Oklahoma State to play for the 2011 national championship, even though the Cowboys won the Big 12 title and Alabama didn't even win the SEC West.
The BCS has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public records to ensure that no one has ever, EVER understood the bizarre and seemingly random goofiness of the computer formulas.
The BCS has made judges dependent on its will alone, when in 2004 USC and Oklahoma were in and unbeaten Auburn was left out and Utah and Boise State teams weren't even close in the final BCS rankings despite the lack of a single blemish.
For imposing taxes – and Texas - on us without our consent in 2009 over unbeaten teams from Cincinnati, TCU and Boise State.
The BCS has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people – and, even worse, sort of hosed over the 2003 USC Trojans and 2004 Auburn Tigers.
The BCS is at this time transporting large armies of foreign mercenaries to Tuscaloosa to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of cruelty & perfidy in Nick Saban's practices scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous SEC ages, and totally unworthy the head of a civilized nation.
In every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. So, please, give us an eight-team playoff next year with seven conference champions and one wild card.
And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Tim Tebow's Providence – His will be done - we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor and watch every college football game we possibly can this season.
Which is more than we can say about the members of the future playoff committee.