Cavalcade of Whimsy
Oct. 29, Part 1
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August 27 - Kickoff Cavalcade |
Sept. 3 - Enter Jameis Winston
Sept. 10 - Trying To Quit Texas |
Sept. 17 - Trying To Help The NCAA
Sept. 24 - Cupcake Saturday Fiasco | Oct. 1
- The Lane Kiffin Aftermath
- Oct. 8
- Cavalcade of Condi |
Oct. 15 - The Midseason With The QB
Oct. 22 - Fiu crashing the playoff committee
Cavalcade of Whimsy - Oct. 29
Part 2 - The Fan Bill of Rights (thanks to Nick Saban)
Sorry if this column sucks, it’s not my fault … the laces were pointed the wrong way.
”When you shoot, you adjust for the wind. Out at the beach, the wind can push the ball two inches. You wouldn't know about that.” ... You don’t miss a 24-yard field goal because the holder didn’t spin the ball quite right.
Of course Missouri kicker Andrew Baggett didn’t lose the game to South Carolina on his own, at least he wasn’t totally to blame, but yeah, he missed a chip shot field goal in overtime and his team lost. That might seem like a raw deal, but it’s how the game works.
Again, it’s a 24-yarder. If it was any other player at any other position making a comparative mistake, the overall narrative would be different.
That’s not to say I don’t feel for the guy, and of course - and this should go without saying - anyone who goes on twitter or other forms of social media to spew hateful garbage about anything related to collegiate athletics is suffering punishment enough by going through life as a pathetic loser, but kickers are football players, too. Baggett is a key part of a major FBS school with a football program that’s in the hunt for the SEC championship – it’s not against the rules to say that the missed kick probably ended Mizzou’s national title hopes.
Is that mean? Yes, if it’s taken to the extreme level and the goal is to pile on and make him feel worse – like he isn’t already devastated knowing that he could go on the practice field right now and, no matter where the laces are, nail that same kick straight and true 100 out of 100 times – but what was the analysis when Jeff Driskel cost Florida a win over Miami by throwing game-killing interceptions? Check out the reaction over Virginia Tech’s Logan Thomas and the problems he had against Duke. People tend to look at kickers differently, but you drive for show and putt for dough. If that’s your job, and that’s why you’re on the team, this is all what you signed up for.
”Our ships have sighted the Millennium Falcon, M’Lord. But it has entered an asteroid field and we can not risk …” ... Baggett is having a rough week, and Missouri defensive coordinator Dave Steckel is getting dogged for not preparing for screen passes that seemed to always go for 18 yards on 3rd-and-17, but South Carolina really did win this more than Mizzou lost it. Tiger fans didn’t exactly agree with this assessment right after the fact, but Mike Davis is the one who weaved his way to 99 yards on ten catches. It was Connor Shaw who came up with the cool and calm play on 4th-and-goal from the 15 in overtime. It was Elliott Fry who nailed a 40-yard kick. A gag is a gag is a gag, but in this case, calling it that seems disrespectful to the Gamecocks.
At the end of the day, Alabama is winning this thing, anyway ... Okay, South Carolina and other SEC fans, I actually have this right. After wasting way too much of my College Football Saturday arguing and debating this, I went right to the source, the SEC offices, and made sure. Here’s the deal in terms of the SEC East three-way tie-breaker.
- South Carolina fans, it would make life a lot easier if Georgia lost to Florida, Auburn and/or Kentucky. You need to get to the head-to-head scenario with Missouri as soon as possible, and if it’s a three-way tie, the Gamecocks are out if the Tigers don’t lose to a team from the East.
- If Georgia, South Carolina and Missouri are all 6-2 in SEC play, and 1-1 against each other, it comes down to divisional record. If Missouri’s second loss is to Ole Miss or Texas A&M, it’s playing for the SEC title. If that loss comes to Tennessee or Kentucky, then, eventually, it gets down to BCS ranking, and that means South Carolina might need to beat Clemson.
- Georgia, for all intents and purposes, you need two win out in the SEC and get two more Missouri losses.
But AJ McCarron gets Miss Carl’s Jr. ... Here’s how this is going to work. As long as Alabama, Florida State and Oregon all go unbeaten, and as long as either the Seminoles or Ducks are left out in the cold, the starting quarterback of the team that doesn’t play in the BCS championship will win the Heisman. If Oregon is in, the Heisman voters will give Jameis Winston more of the sympathy vote, and it will be the other way around if Marcus Mariota isn’t facing the Tide.
And then we don’t have to pretend that the committee is watching every college football game possible ... I’m sure someone with a bigger brain and better paycheck thought to ask this question at some point. Why can’t the four teams in College Football Playoff simply be determined by the BCS system?
Granted, the Coaches’ Poll is a problem, and the Harris merely mimics the other polls, but instead of going through all the hullabaloo of putting together a committee that will end up naming the same four teams you and 12 friends would, why not just keep everything in place and take away the controversy of all the inherent biases?
Here’s how College Football Playoff would’ve looked over the years (hint, there wouldn’t be too many, if any, complaints).
2013 (at the moment): No. 1 Alabama vs. No. 4 Ohio State, No. 2 Oregon vs. No. 3 Florida State
2012: No. 1 Notre Dame vs. No. 4 Oregon, No. 2 Alabama vs. No. 3 Florida (This would’ve been the big problem year of the bunch with Oregon and Florida in despite not winning their respective divisions over No. 5 Kansas State and No. 6 Stanford, who won conference championships.)
2011: No. 1 LSU vs. No. 4 Stanford, No. 2 Alabama vs. No. 3 Oklahoma State (No. 5 was Oregon)
2010: No. 1 Auburn vs. No. 4 Stanford, No. 2 Oregon vs. No. 3 TCU (No. 5 was Wisconsin)
2009: No. 1 Alabama vs. No. 4 TCU, No. 2 Texas vs. No. 3 Cincinnati (No. 5 was Florida)
2008: No. 1 Oklahoma vs. No. 4 Alabama, No. 2 Florida vs. No. 3 Texas (No. 5 was USC)
2007: No. 1 Ohio State vs. No. 4 Oklahoma, No. 2 LSU vs. No. 3 Virginia Tech (No. 5 was Georgia)
2006: No. 1 Ohio State vs. No. 4 LSU, No. 2 Florida vs. No. 3 Michigan (No. 5 was USC)
2005: No. 1 USC vs. No. 4 Ohio State, No. 2 Texas vs. No. 3 Penn State (No. 5 was Oregon)
2004: No. 1 USC vs. No. 4 Texas, No. 2 Oklahoma vs. No. 3 Auburn (No. 5 was California)
2003: No. 1 Oklahoma vs. No. 4 Michigan, No. 2 LSU vs. No. 3 USC (No. 5 was Ohio State)
2002: No. 1 Miami vs. No. 4 USC, No. 2 Ohio State vs. No. 3 Georgia (No. 5 was Florida)
2001: No. 1 Miami vs. No. 4 Oregon, No. 2 Nebraska vs. No. 3 Colorado (No. 5 was Iowa)
2000: No. 1 Oklahoma vs. No. 4 Washington, No. 2 Florida State vs. No. 3 Miami (No. 5 was Virginia Tech)
1999: No. 1 Florida State vs. No. 4 Alabama, No. 2 Virginia Tech vs. No. 3 Nebraska (No. 5 was Tennessee)
1998: No. 1 Tennessee vs. No. 4 Ohio State, No. 2 Florida State vs. No. 3 Kansas State (No. 5 was UCLA)
We now return you to Hour 9 in our round-the-clock coverage and analysis of HealthCare.gov glitches ... By far, the best part of the college football weekend was the reverse-Heidi reaction from the newsies who went batspit crazy – or crazier – when the end of the weather-delayed Texas Tech-Oklahoma game was moved to FOX News so FOX could go with the start of Game 3 of the World Series. Obviously, the reason for the delay and the move of a sporting event to an all-news channel for a few minutes? Obama.
”If you love something, and you set it free, and it doesn't come back, you're a dumbass. “ ... Nebraska lost … to Minnesota?! FIRE BO PELINI!!! (pant … pant … pant).
Virginia Tech gacked against Duke? FRANK BEAMER HAS LOST IT … PUT HIM ON THE HOT SEAT!!!
How is it possible that Bob Stoops is still coaching at Oklahoma a few weeks after losing to Texas? Chris Petersen has obviously lost his touch at Boise State …
Enough. Stop trying to fire the coach after one key loss.
Mack Brown was gone, and then he wasn’t. Lane Kiffin and USC were fine, and then they weren’t, but they both would’ve still been married with a better second half against Arizona State. Now it’s Pelini who’s getting roasted after his Huskers did the unthinkable and lost to the Gophers on the road. Meanwhile, all the guy has done is go 54-22 in five-plus years with four division titles and three ten-win seasons. And guess what? Nebraska is still in the hunt for the Big Ten title – the Minnesota loss really doesn’t matter. Neither did Virginia Tech’s loss to Duke or Boise State’s defeat to BYU. Oklahoma is still in the Big 12 championship chase, too.
At the other side of the argument ... The NFL world couldn’t stop falling over itself to honor and praise Bruce Arians for stepping in and keeping the Indianapolis Colt train moving when head coach Chuck Pagano was being treated for cancer. Now it’s time for the college world to start giving the same sort of love to Tracy Claeys, the Minnesota defensive coordinator who’s taking over for head coach Jerry Kill, who’s working on how to manage his epilepsy. Claeys and the Gophers pitched an absolute gem against the Huskers. It was a masterful job done by the coaching staff on both sides of the ball.
”Either they don't know, don't show, or don't care about what's going on in the hood.” ... There’s nothing better than wearing a hoodie. It’s big, comforting, warm, and if sized correctly, it hides all the big and squishy parts around the middle until there’s time to work on making them not so big or squishy anymore. However, if the hood part is merely along for the ride, just go with the straight sweatshirt.
Mark Dantonio’s Michigan State team was throttling Illinois on a nice, crisp October day, but there was no chance his hood was going to come up on that sweatshirt. It’s better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it, but unless it’s a windy day full of crazy weather, there’s no need to try staying with me stride for stride in the quest to perfect the Suburban Slob look.
“So please please please
let me, let me, let me
let me get what I want
this time” … Welcome to my shameless and impossible quest to someday be on the committee that helps pick the playoff. Why do I deserve a spot? Who needs it? I’m far more honored to be a part of a three-man booth on CampusInsiders.com doing the San Jose State-UNLV game this Saturday afternoon, 4 pm EST/1 pm PST. I’ll be tweeting live while also giving my goofy commentary on-air.
Cavalcade of Whimsy - Oct. 29
Part 2 - The Fan Bill of Rights (thanks to Nick Saban)