By
Pete Fiutak
What's your beef? ... E-mail with your
thoughts
Past Whimsys
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If this column
sucks, it’s not my fault …
I’m a little shaken by the planes flying overhead toting banners saying
“CFN READERS & FANS DESERVE BETTER … FIRE FIU, AND COKER, NOW.”
Illinois finally had a “hostile and abusive”
team instead of just a nickname …
To shake up his team, Michigan State head coach John L. Smith should’ve
forced his players to help Illinois plant the Illini flag at midfield
after the 23-20 loss. Don’t like it when someone else does it, MSU? Play
better.
This week’s Cavalcade essay question … Who has the more
impressive arm: Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn, or the guy in the Vonage van
who plugs the fat kid and the blond bim in the head? Discuss.
“Get it straight buster - I'm not here to say please, I'm here to
tell you what to do and if self-preservation is an instinct you possess
you'd better (bleep)ing do it and do it quick. I'm here to help - if my
help's not appreciated then lotsa luck, gentlemen.” … Northern
Illinois RB Garrett Wolfe has set an NCAA record for the most rushing
yards gained after five games with 1,181 after tearing off 353 yards on
Ball State for an average of 236.2 yards per game. At the moment, he's
rushing for more yards per game than all but six teams (Navy, West
Virginia, Air Force, Louisville, Connecticut and Clemson) and gained
more against the Cardinals than Louisiana Tech, UTEP, Colorado State,
Arizona, Ohio, Tulane, Virginia, Temple, Duke and Baylor have come up
with all season, and ironically equalled Ball State's season total. In
fact, his 353 yards were 66 more than Baylor and Duke combined
with nine games between them.
Here’s the remaining NIU schedule with each opponent’s current national
rank against the run …
- at Miami University 104th
- at Western Michigan 6th (but it hasn’t faced anyone who can run)
- Temple 117th
- Iowa 47th
- Toledo 93rd
- Central Michigan 69th
- Eastern Michigan 108th.
That means Mr. Wolfe will go against three of the worst run defenses in
America along two others that rank in the bottom half. If NIU wins the
Western Division, it’ll play in the MAC title game and a bowl meaning
Wolfe, if he stays healthy, will play in 14 games. If he stays healthy,
at his current pace, which isn’t unrealistic in any way considering he
could hang 400 on both Temple and Eastern Michigan, he’ll finish the
season with 3,306 yards. Former Oklahoma State star Barry Sanders
currently holds the record with 2,628 yards.
Flag this … Every sort of touchdown celebration is old news and
everyone has overdone every way to get into the end zone except for one.
When a player is in the clear and has no one within 20 yards of him, he
should stop just short of the goal line, reach the ball across the goal
line, and then walk back to the bench. How could it possibly be flagged?
Like Randolph and Mortimer, the bet is one dollar … The C.O.W.
line on the total margin of defeat in Duke’s games vs. Alabama, Florida
State, and Miami over the next three weeks: 100. By the way, what does
it say about your team to be Duke’s homecoming opponent? Virginia was
the only home game before mid-October, and it won 37-0, but like Kevin
Smith saying your movie sucks, that’s still a sign of disrespect from a
supposed inferior.
But don’t play the ESPN promo game. You’ll be a vegetable … For
those of you looking to add some spice to your Thursday nights, I
present the South Carolina drinking game, presented by ESPN. You drink
every time Kirk Herbstreit says SteveSpurrier (one word), and you chug
every time he giggles like a slow walking sorority girl when praising
the Ball Coach. What you do every time the word genius is used is up to
you.
And while they're at it, maybe ESPN can smarten up and do Cheerleader
Cam the next time it has one of those Full Circle thingys… I keep
asking why there aren’t replay cameras stationed on each goal line, and
I keep getting, “uhhhh, I dunno” answers. Sorry to repeat myself from
past columns, but now that replay is a part of our lives, it makes
absolutely no sense not to place cameras on each side of the goal line
to get a better view on the most critical area of the field.
This weekend, Florida’s Andre Caldwell lost the ball as he was diving
into the end zone for a critical touchdown against Alabama. It sure as
shoot looked like he lost the ball before going in, but the original
touchdown call rightly wasn’t overturned because CBS had every camera
angle but a definitive one on the goal line. Later on Saturday,
Nebraska’s Nate Swift fumbled the ball as he was going out of bounds
while stretching the ball over the pylon in overtime against Kansas.
Should it have been a touchback? Probably not because he appeared to be
out of bounds before losing the ball, but again, there wasn’t a good
goal line angle. In the Georgia-Ole Miss game, Bulldog DB Tra Battle
stripped Mississippi’s Dexter McCluster just before he crossed the goal
line, but the touchdown stood because there wasn’t a good angle to see
what really happened. Give credit to TBS for actually getting a good
view of a key USC score against Washington State. Now the other networks
need to follow.
The C.O.W. airing of the grievances
followed by the feats of strength
Ten random thoughts after this
weekend, because I'm saving my Ten Reasons for Why Ohio State Might not
be No. 1 for when the media hype gets out of control.
10. With the exception of the Nike swoosh, the old school
Florida blue uniforms with the simple F on the helmet might be the
greatest in all of recorded history
Fine, I’ll be the one to say it. The cursive Gators on the helmet is
sort of weird and the normal unis are nice, but nothing to get excited
about. The throwback jerseys worn in the Alabama game must be used on a
permanent basis.
9. And give them a replay guy whose vote wasn't once
influenced by the Tippecanoe and Tyler Too slogan
It should be a simple rule: all non-conference games should be done
by neutral officials. Period. It’s not like an ACC official is going to
give the ACC team a call over a Conference USA team, but why even allow
anyone to give it a thought?
8. College football should be played on Saturdays. Just Saturdays.
I understand the need for leagues like Conference USA and the WAC to
get on national TV whenever they can, but there’s no reason for Auburn
vs. South Carolina to be on a Thursday night. Fine, I’ll give you one
Thursday night game a week, but having games from Tuesday through Sunday
night, like this week, is a bit much, even for the biggest of college
football junkies. So who really cares about these games? ...
7. It
just means the poker players will view more porn
Never underestimate how silly a small group of people in power can
be. As you were off doing whatever it is you do on Friday nights, an
Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act bill was passed in Congress
making it illegal for banks and credit card companies to process the
payments to on-line casinos. That means all the poker players are
completely screwed, and placing a wager on a sporting event will now be
next to impossible. If you don’t bet, why should you care? Well for one,
it’s ridiculous. It’s fine to go to Las Vegas and lose all your money,
or blow your coin in the lottery, at the horse track, or at any
riverboat casino, but you can’t do it on-line for some bizarre reason.
Lawmakers whine that kids can get into these sites and gamble, but that
minuscule problem is nothing compared to how easy it is for an
11-year-old to find free hardcore pornography with just a few keyboard
clicks, and how easy it is to download thousands of songs, order
garbage, and do a number of other things on the Internet. Second, it’s
costing you money. All the on-line casinos are begging to be able to
operate in the U.S. and be regulated. If that happened, these companies
would pay billions upon billions of dollars in taxes, and be happy to do
it.
6. Hawaii will go 11-2
The 44-9 win over Eastern Illinois showed once again that this is
the best Hawaii offense yet in the June Jones era. Colt Brennan is the
perfect triggerman, Nate Ilaoa is providing a thunderous rushing threat,
and receivers Davone Bess, Ryan Grice-Mullen, Jason Rivers and Ross
Dickerson have been fantastic. There’s no way Nevada, Fresno State, New
Mexico State, Idaho, Utah State, Louisiana Tech, San Jose State, Purdue,
or Oregon State (with the last four on the list making the trip to
Honolulu) will be able to keep the Warriors to under 35 points.
5. The ½ pound beef and potato burrito will save Taco Bell
I ate one last Wednesday and am still full. This wrap of 530 calorie, 24
fat gram, love will single-handedly break me out of my controversial
three-year border ban.
4. Georgia is way, way, way overrated
Georgia being ranked tenth in the AP poll and ninth in the Coaches
Poll basically lets you know that the pollsters aren’t watching as much
college football as you. Oh sure, the Bulldog defense is playing at a
national title level, but there’s no way, no how, anyone could’ve
watched all five Georgia games this year and still picked it ahead of
Tennessee, Oregon, LSU, Clemson, or California in the rankings. If you
need an unbeaten team to rank high, put Missouri up there. The Tigers
handled Colorado team without a problem a week after the Dawgs needed a
last minute touchdown pass to beat the Buffs. With that said, Tennessee
is up this week and Florida is at the end of the month. There are
chances to prove itself worthy of the top ten.
3. The best conference race is …
A tie between the MAC and the Sun Belt. Fine, so the only time
you’ve cared about ither league was when your team was rolling over one
of its teams on the way to a 56-7 win, but as far as the league races
are concerned, these two are the most interesting. There have been
upsets galore so far in each league with the races more wide open than
any other.
2. If Boise State goes 12-0, give it a shot on the big stage
No, I’m not talking about the BCS Championship game. To me, the two
teams in the title game should’ve earned their way in by having the best
seasons against the toughest schedules, and obviously, Boise State won’t
do that with its biggest wins, when all is said and done, coming against
Oregon State, Utah, and Hawaii. I know the WAC stinks, and I know the
Broncos got jacked up when they faced Georgia last year, but this is a
different, more talented team with the best defense yet since this great
run began to go along with a legitimate all-star back in Ian Johnson.
Fresno State and Hawaii get national credit for beating name teams that
have done nothing, but no one seems to want to acknowledge that Boise's
78 wins since 1999 is impressive no matter how you cut it. The
non-championship BCS games are nothing more than glorified,
semi-important non-conference exhibitions. They're not playoffs. Let
Boise in.
1. Instant replay is better than nothing
I’m not going to bring up that game again, but remember, all
the replay official did on the onside kick call was not reverse it. Had
there not been instant replay, the on-field officials would’ve taken all
the heat.
It's
the old adage that things can go right 99 out of 100 times, but you'll
only pay attention to the one misfire.
Time and again, instant replay has provided
another set of eyes just to get the calls as close to correct as
possible. Replay works. Replay is a major positive step in college
football, and with the technology getting better, the system will only
get stronger and more efficient.
And like most of the other top receiver prospects, they can all go
off to the NFL to become busts … Good luck trying to figure out the
pecking order for the wide receivers in the All-America race, much less
the order for the Biletnikoff Award. It’s generally being acknowledged
the Georgia Tech’s Calvin Johnson is the one to beat, but Tennessee’s
Robert Meachem has been every bit as productive and even more dangerous.
Michigan’s Mario Manningham has been a one-man wrecking crew, Notre
Dame’s Jeff Samardzija, despite not leading his team in receiving, has
been the most clutch, and when all is said and done, USC’s Dwayne
Jarrett might be the best of the bunch. That list doesn’t even include
the nation’s leading statistical receivers like UTEP’s Johnnie Lee
Higgins, Oregon’s Jaison Williams, Hawaii’s Davone Bess and Rice’s
Jarett Dillard. It also doesn’t include …
Welcome to another
edition of
Which Fan Base Will I Get the Angry E-mails From This Week …
I’ve
recently realized there are two arguments I’ll never, ever win:
Will Ferrell isn’t
all that funny, and
dogs are annoying
(there’s nothing worse than walking into someone’s house and having
Scruffles, fresh off a tête-à-tête with his happy place, jumping all
over you). Add a third to the list of battles I can't seem to win.
Considering all the hype and all the attention, Ted Ginn is currently
the most overrated player in America.
I’m not saying that he’s not a phenomenal, top 15-caliber talent. I’m
not arguing that he doesn’t have scary-fast speed and the potential to
bust open any game at any time. I just want to see it more often. I
don’t care if you have five guys covering you, if you’re all that and a
peanut butter sandwich, you come up with big numbers no matter what,
like Calvin Johnson, Garrett Wolfe, and Adrian Peterson have had to do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know his receiving skills have gotten night-and-day
better and that Troy Smith is busy making Anthony Gonzalez a ton of
future NFL money thanks to the single coverage, but from Ginn, I want
more than nine catches for 84 yards in two Big Ten games. I want more
than 15.8 yards per kickoff return and 8.75 yards per punt return. Once
again, I’m not saying he’s bad in any way, but for all the hype and all
the attention, I want to see more.
But wait, Buckeye fans, before you finish off that angry, somewhat
paranoid e-mail, and before I respond that I don’t hate Ohio State and
remind you that I picked your Buckeyes to beat Miami in the 2003 Fiesta
Bowl … Ohio State deserves to be the number one team in the country.
The 24-7 drubbing of Texas in Austin was the best win all year, and wins
over Penn State and at Iowa were stronger for the résumé than many top
teams can claim. So why do I have that 2002 Miami, 2005 USC feeling that
the team is going to be hyped and hyped and hyped to a ridiculous level,
be double-digit favorites in the BCS championship game, and then get
tagged? Three letters … S. E. C.
Isn’t it just possible that Texas is just way above-average, Iowa is
mediocre, and Penn State is really mediocre? It’s not Ohio State’s fault
if those three teams are no big whoop, but none of them appear to be LSU,
Auburn or Florida. Cal is playing like one of the five best teams in
America, and it got its doors blown off by Tennessee. I’m not saying the
Buckeyes aren’t fantastic, and I have them ranked number one, but would
I bet the house and the farm on them on a neutral field over the top SEC
teams? Not sure.
My Heisman
ballot this week would be
…
1. Adrian Peterson, RB Oklahoma, 2. Troy Smith, QB Ohio State, 3. Mike
Hart, RB Michigan, 4. Garrett Wolfe, RB Northern Illinois, 5. Calvin
Johnson, WR Georgia Tech
C.O.W. shameless gimmick item …
The weekly five Overrated/Underrated aspects
of the world
1) Overrated:
Tim Tebow ... Underrated:
Iced venti pumpkin spice skim latte, easy ice, two Splendas, with
a side of Red Bull
2) Overrated: How bad the Oregon
uniforms are … Underrated: How bad the Washington State uniforms are
3) Overrated: 25 million reasons … Underrated: Kurt Cobain
4) Overrated: Reggie Bush ... Underrated: Jerious Norwood
5) Overrated: Goofy announcers who refuse to say the words no hitter
during a no hitter ... Underrated: Rece Davis for daring to
give an update on Daniel Caberra's no-hitter attempt vs. the Yankees.
Sheer hubris run amok … The three lines this week that appear to
be a tad off: I know, I’m dying here going 5-7 so far. I press on … 1)
Mississippi State +26.5 over West Virginia, 2) Michigan State +17 over
Michigan, 3) New Mexico State pick over Idaho
Sorry this column sucked, but it wasn’t my fault … it was a
drifter, not a South Carolina spy, who stole my laptop with the better
column and the Auburn game plan in it.
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