Instant Analysis: Auburn-Mississippi State

No, this wasn’t a five-star matchup, and no, Mississippi State wasn’t able to upset Auburn, but Saturday night’s contest in Starkville, Miss., deserves special mention because of its place in college football history.

If you saw this game on TV or in person, you might have lost hairs on your head, especially if you had a rooting interest. And even if you didn’t have a dog in this fight, your stomach must have turned many times over, a result of all the turnovers that defined a collegiate version of Football Follies. Those who missed this game entirely—due to Ohio State-USC or another personal commitment—are the lucky ones, because they missed one of the all-time clunkers in college football’s 139-year existence, dating back to 1869.

If you recall the score of the first primitive collegiate football contest, played just a few years after the Civil War ended, Rutgers defeated Princeton, 6-4. When you then consider that Auburn and Mississippi State produced exactly half the point total generated by the Tigers and Scarlet Knights, you can appreciate the historic level of offensive ineptitude in this failure- festival. The poor folks at Scott Field won’t be able to forget this supreme stinker… even though they surely want to in the worst way. The football forged by these two squads proved to be so wretched that when the final seconds had mercifully ticked off the clock, the winning coach—Auburn’s Tommy Tuberville—had the weak smile characteristic of a schoolboy caught committing a sin, but who is let off the hook by a tender, gentle teacher who—instead of choosing corporal punishment—chooses to motivate by way of encouragement.

Yes, it was that bad in Starkville. Maybe even worse.

It needs to be said that the defenses of both teams—especially Auburn’s, given the number of times the Tiger offense put its defense in a difficult spot—spilled their guts in an admirable display of both stamina and resourcefulness. Lots of young men fought with their whole heart and soul, and the effort level in this game was commendably vigorous. But with all that having been said, the level of execution proved to be shockingly, even comically, abysmal. No two defenses will produce a 3-2 game—such as the one seen on this Mississippi night—without a considerable amount of help from a pair of inept offenses.

Firm and final proof of this game’s pathetic pigskin poverty is offered by another FBS (formerly Division I-A) contest that produced fewer than four offensive points. In 1983, one might recall that Oregon and Oregon State fought and fumbled their way to a scoreless tie in Eugene’s Autzen Stadium. No scoreless tie has ever been played since, and given that overtime (instituted in the 1990s) forces a team to score at some point before a game can end, the minimum score one could reasonably expect out of any football game is 3-0 (because safeties are virtually impossible to come by in overtime, given the format used in NCAA competition). For two SEC West teams to post a “3-2” result on the board makes this game—while unbearably ugly—an historic event that isn’t likely to be matched anytime soon.

Though Auburn and Mississippi State played a game that few could be proud of, it does have to be acknowledged that the Tigers and Bulldogs created a memory that, like it or not, will endure for years to come.