* As much as the News Roundup would like to quit Lane Kiffin, he
just makes it impossible to do so. Our one-day Kiffin-free streak
has been shattered by this item: he reportedly told prized South
Carolina recruit Alshon Jeffery that if the wide receiver chose the
Gamecocks, he would end up pumping gas for the rest of his life like
all the other players from that state who had gone to South
Carolina. Perhaps, but if Kiffin can't back up his bluster he'll be
sending Jeffery his resume for a squeegee position.
* Contrary to popular stereotypes, there is some speed to be
mined on The Ohio State University campus. Josh Springer may be
walking on to the Buckeye squad after ripping off a 4.47 40-yard
dash. What makes this story intriguing is that Springer is the OSU
cheerleading captain. The only thing more embarrassing than the
Buckeyes having a cheerleader on their squad is having that
cheerleader torch your team's secondary.
* Jim Tressel might be affectionately known as "The Senator," but
he's not the only senator in college football. Alabama freshman
sensation Julio Jones - despite not campaigning - received enough
write-in votes to earn a seat on the student senate. At least he has
something to fall back on in case football doesn't work out. You
know, so he doesn't end up pumping gas with Alshon Jeffery and Lane
* The News Roundup would like to note that a misdemeanor charge
against Florida offensive lineman Carl Johnson for violating a
sexual violence restraining order has been dropped. Which means it's
been dropped out of our police blotter, too.
* Here's a handy tip for college football players: avoid
McDonald's drive-through windows. They're apparently a magnet for
bad things. Just a few weeks after FSU's Preston Parker was arrested
for DUI (when he was allegedly found passed out in his car in a
Mickey D's drive-through), former Arizona quarterback Willie Tuitama
has been arrested on suspicion of drunken driving after his own
alleged Golden Arches drive-through episode. Then Jamar Hornsby - a
former Florida Gator who is now a member of the Ole Miss team - took
it to another level when was arrested on charges that he allegedly
assaulted a man at a McDonald's drive-through with... brass
knuckles. We'll make you guys a deal: we'll stop reporting
drive-through mishaps when you stop showing up in them drunk or
armed with exotic weapons (and that includes nunchuks, throwing
stars, cat-o-nine-tails, maces, battle axes and switchblade combs).
171 days and counting...